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Butcherbird

Each morning, before the sun takes full command of the sky, he sings.
The butcherbird.

Not for mates, not for territory, not for any reason nature would approve—
but for the joy of it.
The danger of it.
The mystery of it.

There is a note he favors. A single note.
Or so it seems.
Depending on how you arrive at it—on your posture, your purpose, your faith—
it can sound like salvation—or unrest.
The tritone.

To the medieval ear, it was corruption incarnate.
A sacred shape bent into disfigurement.
Something perfect gone wrong.
They called it Diabolus in Musica.
The Devil in Music.

But the butcherbird sings it like it belongs.
Casually. Joyfully. Without apology.
He does not fear the Devil’s interval. He embodies it.
Where humans once tiptoed around the tritone in candlelit choirs,
the butcherbird whistles it to the sun.
Not hidden.
Not ashamed.
Declared.

He has no theory, no name for it.
And yet his song speaks truths many composers fear to write.

Because the butcherbird knows what we try to forget:
That conflict creates.
That dissonance gives shape to resolution.
That beauty without struggle is just decoration.

He sings the sharp 4 with optimism—
stretching upward toward the unknown.
He dives into the flat 5 with menace—
taunting the limits of order.
The same pitch. One holy. One profane.
One note, split by intention.

The butcherbird doesn’t choose sides.
He sings them both.
And in doing so, he reveals the lie we cling to:
that harmony is peace.
It isn’t.
Harmony is earned—through tension, through contradiction, through almost breaking.

The Devil—tired, elegant, amused—once claimed the tritone as his signature.
But the butcherbird used it first.
And he never needed to summon demons.
Only morning.
Only sky.

The butcherbird already knew
that “not yet” is sometimes more powerful than “forever.”

And so, long before Sabbath tuned to darkness,
a lone bird carved a space in the silence.
A song that hovered—not here, not there.

A song between.

Between heaven
and the place where angels won’t sing.

So listen, if you dare.
Not to summon the Devil—he’s been busy anyway.
But to confess that you, too, have been divided.
You, too, have heard the butcherbird’s song and felt something stir.

 

Mixing for Feel

Mixing for Feel is a short book I wrote for music producers and mixers who are done chasing perfection — and ready to chase impact.

It’s not about settings or plugins. It’s about gut instincts, emotional decisions, and trusting your ears more than your meters.

“Perfection seeks approval. Feel seeks connection.”

If that sounds familiar, this book’s for you.

👉 Download Book – Mixing for Feel (PDF)

👉 Join the list — get future thoughts, tools, and studio insights

Introduction – Why I Don’t Mix for Perfection

I used to mix with my eyes.

EQ curves, gain staging, spectrum analyzers—if it looked right, I figured itmust be right. I watched tutorials. I bought the plug-ins. I did the car tests, the AirPods tests, the cheap Bluetooth speaker tests. But no matter how polished things got, something was always missing.

It took me years to realize what it was:

The mix was clean, but it was dead.

There’s one mix I’ll never forget—not because it was perfect, but because it broke every rule and made the room erupt.

The client grinned while his bandmates stood with shocked looks on their faces.

They just stared, then started headbanging—bodies moving, eyes wide, like the track had possessed them.

The vocal was too hot, the kick had no sub, and the stereo spread was uneven.

But it felt real.

Like the song was looking you in the eye and saying:

“This is who I am, whether you like it or not.”

After that, I started listening differently.

I started mixing differently.

Not to “fix” the performance, but to amplify the emotion that was already there. I stopped treating mixing like surgery. It became more like lighting a stage: subtle changes that help the performance shine—but never distract from it.

“The mix isn’t the song. But the mix can kill it—or set it free.”

Modern production has tricked us into chasing perfection.

We quantize everything. Tune every note. Compress until there’s nothing left to say. It’s easy to forget that every record you love—the ones that actually stayed with you—probably had mistakes. Probably had moments where things almost fell apart.

But that’s what makes them human.

That’s what makes them feel like you.

This book is not about rules.

It’s about trust.

It’s about learning to trust the song. Trust your gut. Trust that maybe—just maybe—the thing you’re trying to fix is the thing that actually makes it work.

🎧 Download the free book – “Mixing for Feel” Discover the art of emotional mixing.
👉 http://www.mixingforfeel.com

 

Why is Creation a Defiant Act?

To explore one’s own consciousness, to wrestle with angels and demons alike, and to emerge, bruised but enlightened. In the act of creation, we confront the duality of our nature—God and the animal, the sublime and the base. We grapple with our contradictions, our sins, and our virtues, all in the pursuit of truth—a truth that is not imposed, but discovered.

Yet, in a world so often governed by pragmatism, the creative act is defiant and resists the pressure to conform. To embrace it fully is to reject the forces that would have us march in lockstep, devoid of individuality and imagination.

The artist knows the cost of this path. They are often misunderstood, dismissed as dreamers, their motives questioned, their sanity doubted. And yet, they persist—for what is a man without his dreams, without the ability to express the inexpressible, to give form to the formless?

The creative force is relentless. The artist continues their work, not for glory, but for the love of God. In the act of creation itself, they find their purpose, their reason for being, and their ultimate salvation.

Ranking Van Halen’s First Six Albums

It is said that music, like fate, reveals itself in waves—at times crashing in violent upheaval, at times receding into quiet memory. Van Halen, this band of jesters, did not just play rock ‘n roll, they embodied a reckless, divine laughter.

Their first six albums are an unchained rebellion against—well, what’ve you got? And so, in the spirit of inquiry and self-reflection, let us examine these works in order of importance.

 

I. Van Halen (1978)

It begins as all revelations do: with a single, devastating truth. In this case, it is Eruption, a sound so unearthly, so violent in its execution, that it is less a song and more a vision—a man staring into the face of God. Eddie Van Halen’s playing is a force climbing skyward—each phrase fighting against gravity, demanding effort, energy, and belief.  It’s an affront to the established order of rock, a thing that should not be.

Yet it does not end there. Van Halen as a whole is not simply a collection of revelatory solos but a treatise on the fundamental nature of ecstasy and despair. The gallows humor of Runnin’ with the Devil, the desperate yearning of Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love, the mad revelry of Jamie’s Cryin’—this album is an exploration of man’s folly, his insatiable desire, and his inevitable suffering. Even in its lesser-known passages—Feel Your Love TonightI’m the OneLittle Dreamer—there is a hunger, a drive, a fire that refuses to be extinguished.

II. Women and Children First (1980)

The revelry continues, but here, it darkens. Women and Children First is a howl of defiance, a declaration that while the world may erode the spirit, one must still dance upon the ruins.

Songs such as And the Cradle Will Rock… and Everybody Wants Some!! present themselves as anthems for the damned, for those who see the world’s absurdity yet refuse to submit to despair. In Fools and Romeo Delight, Eddie’s guitar ceases to be an instrument and becomes an act of war, an assertion that to yield is to die. Meanwhile, Could This Be Magic? offers a moment of surreal, almost cynical reprieve, as if to mock the very notion of sincerity in a world so bent on deception.

III. Van Halen II (1979)

But there is always a moment when the condemned man forgets his chains, when the prisoner laughs despite his suffering. Van Halen II is such a moment—a reprieve, a seduction, a fleeting indulgence in the illusion of happiness.

Dance the Night Away is hedonism in its purest form, an invitation to cast aside burdens and simply beBeautiful Girls is not a love song but an exultation of beauty, of pleasure, of that which we know will not last but must be celebrated nonetheless. Even in Spanish Fly, an acoustic marvel, we hear not just skill, but delight—as if Eddie, for a moment, has allowed himself to exist outside the pressures of greatness and simply play.

IV. Fair Warning (1981)

It was inevitable. No laughter lasts forever. No light can burn without casting shadows. And so we come to Fair Warning, the sound of revelry curdling into regret.

From the opening of Mean Street, we hear not the triumphant strut of the gambler, but the weary gait of the man who has lost it all. Unchained, for all its defiant energy, is no longer the voice of the carefree youth—it is the voice of the man who fights because he must, who rages because surrender is unthinkable. The beauty of Push Comes to Shove is not in its melody but in its melancholy—a slow, creeping awareness that the dance is nearing its end.

This is a great album, but it is not a happy one. And it should not be.

V. 1984 (1984)

And now the great turning. 1984 is not merely a shift in sound, but in philosophy. The synthesizers, the sleek production, the blinding neon of Jump—this is not rebellion, but assimilation. The wild creature of Van Halen has been put in a cage, and given a treat.

It is not without its virtues. Panama and Hot for Teacher still pulse with the old spirit. Eddie’s solos remain untouched by time. But something has been lost here. Or rather, something has been willingly given up. The freedom that once defined Van Halen has now been sold, traded for a throne in a kingdom of illusions.

VI. Diver Down (1982)

Finally, we arrive at Diver Down, the album that smiles even as it bleeds. It is, in many ways, a jest—a record filled with covers, diversions, distractions. Even its best moments—Little GuitarsSecrets—feel as if they are spoken by a man who does not wish to speak of his suffering, who would rather entertain than confess.

But even here, in this playful deceit, we find truth. Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now) is a moment of warmth, an acknowledgment that even the wildest of men may one day long for quiet. It is a farewell to something—not just to a certain sound, but to an era.

Locked Inside Pink Floyd’s Wall

Los Angeles, late 1979. A dimly lit control room in Producers Workshop.

Roger Waters and David Gilmour are locked in yet another shouting match—this time over Comfortably Numb.

“The verses need to be dry, stripped down. No big, emotional swill!” Waters insists, voice sharp, eyes burning.

Gilmour scoffs. “You’re killing the song! The chorus needs to soar, Roger! It’s the climax of the whole bloody thing!”

Their words ricochet off the walls, their frustrations festering. This isn’t just a disagreement—it’s a battle of wills, the latest in a long war that’s been raging since The Wall began taking shape.

In the middle of it all, Bob Ezrin rubs his temples, trying to keep his patience. He’s seen this before—two brilliant artists colliding, their egos clashing with their genius. But this time, he’s had enough.

Without a word, he walks over to the door. Click. The lock turns.

“Alright,” Ezrin says, voice calm, measured. “Nobody leaves until we get this right.”

A tense silence falls over the room. The two Pink Floyd leaders stare at him, dumbfounded.

“What the hell are you doing?” Waters snaps.

Ezrin meets his glare, unflinching. “You’re both wrong. And you’re both right. We’re going to do it my way.”

The room stays still. No one moves. No one speaks.

But Ezrin is about to make his stand.

No discussion of The Wall can start anywhere other than Roger Waters. This was his album, his story, his rage and disillusionment poured into music. By the late ‘70s, he was growing increasingly detached—from audiences, from bandmates, from the very notion of rock stardom itself. The seeds of The Wall were planted in 1977, when, during a Pink Floyd concert, he became so uncomfortable with the crowd’s behavior that he fantasized about building a literal wall between himself and them.

That moment of alienation sparked something in Waters. He envisioned an album that would explore themes of psychological isolation, personal trauma, and the dangerous allure of authoritarianism. Drawing from his own experiences—including the death of his father in World War II, a strained education system, and the pressures of fame—Waters crafted a narrative that was part autobiography, part dystopian nightmare.

With The Wall, he wasn’t just writing an album—he was building an entire world.

Waters may have had the vision, but the scale of it was overwhelming. Enter Bob Ezrin.

Ezrin wasn’t just there to produce—he was there to refine, to shape, to ensure that The Wall wasn’t just an indulgent, sprawling mess. When Waters presented his ideas, Ezrin made a bold suggestion:

“We need a script. Not just a track list—a real, structured narrative.”

At first, Waters resisted. He was fiercely protective of his work, reluctant to let anyone else shape its form. But Ezrin knew the power of storytelling, and he fought for the structure that would keep The Wall from collapsing under its own weight. He insisted on treating the album like a Broadway show, mapping out scenes, defining character arcs, and ensuring that each song served a larger narrative purpose.

It was Ezrin who brought in the school choir for Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2, convincing Waters that it would add a layer of eerie, detached rebellion. It was Ezrin who fought for pacing, making sure the album ebbed and flowed with the right tension. And it was Ezrin who, when Gilmour and Waters clashed over Comfortably Numb, made the call that would turn it into a masterpiece.

If The Wall was Waters’ story, then Gilmour provided the voice that made it sing. The creative tension between them was both the album’s greatest strength and its biggest obstacle.

Waters brought the raw, emotional intensity—lyrics drenched in paranoia and discomfort. Gilmour brought the soaring, melodic beauty—those ethereal guitar solos that felt like moments of breaking through despair. Together, they created some of the most iconic music in rock history.

But that tension was volatile.

And in Comfortably Numb, it came to a head.

Gilmour’s original demo was melancholic yet lush, its chord progression haunting and hypnotic. Waters, ever the minimalist, wanted it stripped down, stark, almost lifeless. Gilmour wanted it grand, cinematic.

Ezrin, watching two geniuses at odds, made his choice.

The tension in the studio is unbearable. Waters and Gilmour are still glaring at each other, neither willing to give an inch.

Ezrin exhales. “Roger, the verses stay your way—dry, detached, almost lifeless. That fits the story. But David’s chorus? It stays massive. Orchestral. Emotional.”

Silence.

Then, Waters sighs, running a hand through his hair. He relents.

Gilmour nods, arms crossed, still fuming, but willing to trust the man who had already shaped so much of The Wall.

Ezrin unlocks the door. “Alright,” he says. “Now let’s make history.”

And they do.

The final version of Comfortably Numb becomes one of the defining moments of The Wall, the contrast between the bleak verses and the soaring chorus cementing its place in rock history.

By the time The Wall was completed, Roger Waters had asserted near-total dominance over Pink Floyd. Richard Wright had been fired during recording, Nick Mason was largely uninvolved, and Gilmour and Waters’ relationship was beyond repair. The album’s sheer ambition had pushed everyone to the breaking point.

But The Wall wasn’t just finished—it became a cultural landmark. It went on to sell over 30 million copies worldwide, define an era of rock music, and inspire one of the most ambitious tours in history.

Today, The Wall is remembered as Waters’ magnum opus—a deeply personal, deeply political statement wrapped in some of the most haunting and beautiful music ever recorded. But its greatness also lies in the delicate balance of vision, musicianship, and production.

Waters built The Wall. Ezrin made it stand. Gilmour gave it its soul.

And for a brief, tense moment in a locked studio, they all worked together to make history.

What the Hell Is My Sharona?!

What is youth but the delirium of dreams, the reckless fumble toward ecstasy before the world crushes you into submission? Get the Knack is precisely such a delirium—brash and unrepentant in its yearning for something beyond itself.

The opening moments of Let Me Out announce themselves with a frantic urgency, a will to break free from the suffocation of ordinary life. The guitars drive forward like the pulse of a young man gripped by hunger, not only for pleasure, but for conquest.

What is My Sharona? What is this song if not obsession itself? Doug Fieger’s voice is that of a lover and a tyrant, pleading yet demanding, a desperate suitor on the edge of sanity. Sharona, the eternal woman, the phantom that lures and destroys, the archetype of all desire that can never be fully satisfied.

But passion never exists without the shadow of its own decline. Good Girls Don’t flirts with provocation, but in its smirking bravado lies a deeper truth, the clash between ideals and desire, restraint and indulgence. Purity, if it ever existed, is long gone. Even love, even music, carries within it the seeds of its own unraveling.

She’s So Selfish? What venom, what accusation! And yet, is it not a mirror of ourselves? Do we not all grasp for what we desire, leaving the rest to wither? Is there no fairness in human affairs—only power, only will, only the hungering void that each soul seeks to fill before it is cast aside.

But let us not be fooled into thinking Get the Knack is a mindless revelry. Beneath its exuberant energy lurks a darker undercurrent. The late 1970s, a world staggering under the weight of lost idealism. The children of the counterculture, grown weary, cynical. The revolutionaries of the ’60s, now bureaucrats and broken men. Beneath the infectious hooks and musicianship lies the desperate laughter of a generation aware of its own futility.

And yet, is it not uniquely human to laugh even as the noose tightens? Get the Knack does not offer answers, nor does it seek to. It merely plunges forward, driven by its own manic energy, a bright flame against the oncoming dark.