Heavy Medicine

Although it was terrific fun walking around town shooting up cop cars while armed with two hot chicks and some paint-ball guns, I decided we should quit while we were ahead, go to the mountain and finish off the Jack Daniels. There, in the drunkenness of the early morning, I began to climb down the dark mountain side. I was hoping the girls would follow me so I could ask them important questions like why their shoes didn’t match their hair. It was then I lost my rapport with gravity and tumbled head over heels a hundred and fifty feet down the mountain. I was lucky to land on top of a lonely tree.

It was on that lonely tree where I began to reflect on my life which, up to then, had been completely devoted to music. If that sounds like a noble thing, I can assure you it is not. My biggest mistake was trying to create music for the art of it. I realize now that music and art have nothing to do with each other. I have since checked my idealism at the door, along with my soul.

I got into music because I thought it would be a good way to express myself. I have always valued individuality. As a kid I constantly strived to express it. Recently though, I have come to the conclusion that musicians these days must essentially be characterless. Why try to create something new and original when it is so much easier, and the rewards are potentially so much greater, to copy something that has already been accepted?

I often become frustrated when I realize how many aspects of my life I have sacrificed in order to try to create something new and interesting only to show up to a gig and have some chick say, “Oh, he’s so cute.”

Fuck off.

“I like the way he makes that little pouty face.”

Fuck off.

“But I wish he would smile more.”

Fuck off.

“What’s with the hair?”

“That’s alright,” I tell myself. “One day there will be a beautiful princess who will get it. She’ll understand and appreciate the thought and dedication that has gone into doing what it is I do. She will be the one.”

But if there is one thing I learned during my recent conversations with God, who I affectionately refer to as the “Ol’ Cocksucker”, it is that I have been dreaming, and there is precious little space reserved in this world for dreamers.

On the lonely tree I thought about a girl I used to know. She was the most beautiful girl I ever saw. Not that I would ever tell her that. She knows. They all know, even the ugly ones. I imagine it must be somewhat disappointing to them when they first realize how simple men really are. I wonder why I never tried harder to get her. I’ve never been one to be afraid of girls and sometimes I actually find them to be quite amusing. Maybe I feared the disappointment that was sure to follow when I discovered that even the most beautiful girl in the world didn’t get it.

Sometimes I wonder what is so special about being human. Like monkeys we spend enormous amounts of time mimicking other monkeys we see on TV. If I was in charge of the world, which will probably never happen because you have to know the right people to get that job, and I wanted to control the other monkeys I’d make sure there were plenty of examples on TV for the other monkeys to follow.

I would reward psychotic behaviors of all kinds. I would feed the monkeys drugs then lock them up for being evil enough to use them. I would encourage the monkeys to fight each other over such stupid things as the color of their fur. If I was feeling especially energetic I would start a religion. I would say, “I know you’re a monkey, but pretend you’re not. Just sacrifice all your monkeying around in this life then in the next one you will have a hundred monkey-whores feeding you grapes.” Then, just when the monkeys were about to give up their hopes and dreams and their faith in the greatness of monkeykind, I would fake a Mars landing.

Paranoid monkeys have a fancy word for this type of thing, and it’s the paranoid monkeys who know what’s really going on. They call it “imprinting”. They say imprinting is used by the head monkeys in order to encourage certain types of behavior in lower class monkeys, like musicians. I dare say that if the whole idea of imprinting doesn’t deeply disturb you, it probably hasn’t dawned on you yet.

Just then I heard a concerned voice call from the top of the mountain. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know yet,” I answered as I checked for broken bones. My right knee appeared to take the worst of it but my ego also took a bruise.

“Good thing you’re so cute cuz you’re dumb as shit.”

As I climbed down the lonely tree I began to understand why the Ol’ Cocksucker invented Jack Daniels. I started my gallant quest towards the top of the mountain but this time I was especially careful because just like art and music, gravity and Jack Daniels don’t mix.

Handsome young man
His face in a can
Where fire walks
Beneath the place where strangeness dwells
A girl she talks
Into the place I dare to go
You know this ain’t like it’s back home
The evening kills the sadness of the day

In trouble with Delilah
Into the fire

There in her lays
Disguised, surprise
She still believes
A different stroke for different folks
Who make believe
Into the place I dare to be
Fondly you’ll remember me
The evening kills the sadness of the day

In trouble with Delilah
Into the fire

I never thought I’d die like this

Recently, I came across a psychology model called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator which is useful not only for self-analysis but also for better understanding other people. At the foundation of the system is a set of 4 pairs of preferences. These 4 pairs of preferences are used to describe how individuals prefer to interact with the world around them. The 4 pairs are on continuum scales and include the following.

1.) Introvert - Extrovert (I-E)

Introverts tend to want to recharge their batteries by spending time alone while Extroverts prefer to be with others. Extroverts like to party and enjoy social occasions. 25% of the population is introverted and 75% is extroverted. In our culture extroverted behavior is rewarded.

2.) Sensing - Intuitive (S-N)

Sensors prefer to deal with their environments by being in touch with their 5 senses. Intuitives tend to be out of touch with their senses and tend to look for the meaning in everything. Sensors live in the moment and Intuitives think about tomorrow and concepts. Sensors make up 75 percent of the population and Intuitives, 25 percent. In our culture sensors tend to be rewarded.

3.) Thinking - Feeling (T-F)

Thinkers are logical. They deal with facts and like to weigh out their options. Feelers make decisions based on emotional reactions. Of the 4 preferences this one is particularly gender-biased. 65% of men are thinkers and 65% of woman are feelers.

4.) Judgers - Perceivers (J-P)

Judgers are extremely organized and love structure. They prefer to make quick decisions and move on while Perceivers prefer to take it all in and keep their options open for as long as possible. Basically there are 2 ways of judging things, by thinking and feeling, and there are 2 ways of perceiving things, by using the senses and by using intuition. The ratio of Judgers vs. Perceivers in our population is 50-50.

If you combine the above preferences you can get 16 combinations but here are some examples.

1) Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving (ESFP) women are the wild and loud party girls. They are often a total mess and frequently forget things. They laugh, then cry, and then they are then happy again.

2) The Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judger (ESFJ) is the most prominent personality type. They are the hosts and hostesses of the world. They are generally well put together and often very intense. If a woman of this type gets something in her mind then, according to her, it has to be right.

3) Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging (ISTJ) males are very logical and are the accountants and bookkeepers of the world.

4. The Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiver (INTP) is very conceptual in his approach to the world. This profile probably best describes me.

You can also look at things in pairs.

1. Sensing - Judgers (S-J) love details and structure. They are traditionalists. In conversations they like to stick to one topic before moving on.

2. Sensing - Perceivers (S-P) are the adventurers.

3. Intuitive - Feelers (N-F) are the idealists. They talk about the ideal future and are into peace, love, and harmony. They like to avoid conflict.

4. Intuitive - Thinkers (N-T) like to rip stuff apart in order to see it’s design. They are logical and are great strategists.

Test yourself at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Major Goodvibes - See Me, Roll Me, Smoke Me

When Saviour comes he’ll blow them all away
When Saviour comes he’ll blow them all away

Everywhere I go
Everything I do
The freaks they come
Kill ‘em all
Everywhere I go
Everything I do
The freaks they come

If you’re trying to freak me out
Blow apart my undercover
I know it’s not my place to say
Could tell you but I’d have to kill you
The freaks come out at night you know
I wanna kill ‘em all you know

There was this girl like midnight
Gina was her name oh
She would dance by moonlight
Gina was her name oh

Her father was a found man
Mother was his saviour
She would dance by moonlight
Only just to save him

Solitary day
Over there she’s the star that’s in your eye
Bright light in your solitary day
Over there she’s the star that’s in your eye

Sing a sad little song
Cuz she lose her attraction
Now but all this is so far from her mind
Into the shadows
And out goes the spotlight
Gina was her name oh

Who was that girl like midnight yeah
Who was that girl like midnight

Hey solitary day oh
Solitary someday oh may she come home

Thanks to Sean Reynolds for playing drums and Bryan Jasper for the cool guitar solo.

Daylight, spotlight, Yukon midnight
This is how I feel oh
Lust for lust but not for life
This is a mass appeal oh
Finished with that woman there oh
Take her if you please you’re

High enough and fly enough
You’ll find enough to help you see
My brain is buff with all this stuff
Prepared for mass appeal oh
Prepared for mass appeal oh

Midnight, bright light, skylight, pretty tight
There in her domain oh
Lust for love but not for life
This ain’t no masquerade no
Finished with that woman there oh
Take her  if you please you’re

Hot for love but not for life
Not high enough, don’t fly enough
Not rough enough, fucked up enough
Enough for mass appeal oh
Enough for mass appeal oh

But you know your brains are fools
Now listen are you clear?
If I see you will destroy you
Satisfy my fear

I met Delilah on the road about a year ago. We talked for a while and then I invited her to my room for a drink. When we got to the room, without saying a word, she took off her clothes and lay naked on the bed. I curled around her yielding body as she spoke softly about her brother who died in a car accident. Afterwards, she got dressed and walked towards the door. “It was nice meeting you,” she said politely and left.

Six months later we played in Delilah’s hometown. I spotted her on the dance floor wearing high heels and a short black dress. I sat at her table and she introduced me to her mom.

“You stay away from my daughter or I’ll murder you!” her mom spat violently in my face.

So I took Delilah’s hand, led her through the club and out the front door. When we got to the parking lot I dragged her into the back of the band van. I was excited to be with this strange creature. Then we saw the flashing lights.

“Oh no!” she panicked. “I’m not supposed to be around cops.” She tried hiding behind me as two cops came to the van and called her name. After opening the door they handcuffed her and tossed her into the back of their cruiser. Somewhat discouraged, I returned to the hotel.

***

When Delilah got out of jail I made plans to visit with her at a hotel on my way to the next gig. The hotel was busy that night with tree planters who were passing through and partying before starting work the next morning. I was lucky to get a room on the third floor where the planters were partying even in the hallways. I went to my room, took a shower and got ready to meet Delilah and her friend downstairs in the lounge.

When I joined the girls we drank beer and sang karaoke. It was then I realized I had forgotten my hotel key inside the room. I tracked down a night janitor who helped me retrieve the key. When I returned to the lounge I escorted Delilah and her friend back to my room. I placed the key and my money, about a hundred dollars, on the dresser and we continued to drink and talk for a while until her friend went home. Then there was a knock on the door. I opened it and was immediately surrounded by three tree planters who were obviously geeked on go.

“Dude. Your girlfriend put crack in the weed man,” one of them threatened. It turns out that when I went to get my key Delilah had smoked a joint with them. I now found myself in a precarious position. It would be unwise to fight these guys with no backup around, especially when they were so jacked up, so I told them that it would be best for everyone if they just minded their own fucking business. With that they quietly left. An hour later though there was another knock at the door.

“Security.”

“Just a minute.” I dressed and opened the door. Unexpectedly, the three tree planters propelled gallons of soapy water from a large garbage pail onto the bed where Delilah was laying and then swiftly ran off giggling like schoolgirls.

I thought their action was kind of funny but Delilah didn’t. I walked downstairs and got some dry bedding and pillows. The tree planters were nowhere to be seen. When I returned Delilah was on the phone to her homies.

“Wanna earn some rocks?” I heard her say. “Come and get these guys for me.”

About a half an hour later two acne-scarred thugs showed up. One of them pulled a sawed-off shotgun from a brown paper bag. “Who are you?” he asked.

“He’s in the band,” Delilah answered for me. “The fucking assholes went down the hall.” With that the four of us walked down the hallway trying to track down the tree planters. Delilah and her homies proceeded to bang on every door screaming obscenities at the top of their lungs. I was relieved when we didn’t find them. We went back to my room and one of her thugs accidentally dropped his loaded weapon onto the floor.

Delilah began to calm down after her homies left. It was time for me to leave for the next gig so I began packing my bags. I went to the dresser where I put the room key and my money. The key was there but the money was gone. It seemed the perfect ending to a night I would rather forget.

Amazing

I heard someone say there are 4 basic types of personalities; the King/Queen, the Warrior, the Magician, and the Lover/Poet. I also heard that in male/female relationships your opposite personality type completes you.

The King/Queen personality is passive, nurturing, logical, analytical, and left brain oriented. They are the accountants, teachers and organizers of society.

The Warrior personality is aggressive, athletic and are always on time. They generally have few friends but if you offend a friend they will attack you. These people are very serious and left brain oriented.

The Magician archetype is creative. They are the actresses and musicians of society and they are hard to pin down. They like to go on adventures for no reason. They like to have an audience and are good at thinking on their feet.

The final personality archetype is the Lover/Poet. The Lover/Poet personality is much like the Magician but is more passive. They are the storytellers of society. Lover/Poets are often shy and quiet and are into music, art and spirituality.

The rule is that Kings/Queens need Magicians to feel complete and vice versa. Lover/Poets need Warriors and Warriors need Lover/Poets.

Duane Nickull, Senior Technology Evangelist at Adobe Systems has recently featured my songs Freak Magnet and My Friend Jerome in Episode 4 of his program called Duane’s World on Adobe TV. In this episode Duane visits Business Objects and finds out some of their developer strategies. Software developers and anyone who works with information technologies will find Duane’s program to be extremely informative.

Baby
Lately things they seem so crazy
All I do is wrong and what I need’s for you
To come along and save me
I can’t find anything amazing
That’s no excuse for my behavior
Me, I really fucked it up now

Lately
I can’t find anything amazing
I can’t find anything amazing
I can’t find anything I wanted

Here we go with my infection
I took your love for my collection
You can have it
Cuz I am really wasted
And things are getting complicated
That’s no excuse for my behavior
Me, I really fucked it up now

Hey now Jane you’re looking
Pretty fine now
Nice and dry you feel like
A brown bag now
On the table cut up
Good as crystal now
Make you fly high
Inhale me deep inside

Hey
See me Roll me Smoke me baby

Sweeter than cocaine baby
Better than hash
Inject the venom baby
Put you on cloud nine
Leap tall buildings baby
Maybe three
When you smoke me baby
You’ll feel free

My Friend Jerome started with the idea of writing a song about a clone who kills himself because everyone is picking on him for being a clone. I have a theory that power, the ability to affect our environment, is how we prove to ourselves that we are alive. We can create a piece of software, we can win the big game, or we can kill someone. The same goes for other animals too, including bugs and Martians.

I almost always write the lyrics first which is different from most songwriters I know. I believe in the idea that a decent song should be able to be played with an acoustic guitar and vocal and still sound good. In the case of My Friend Jerome I sat with an acoustic guitar and played around with chords and melodies and tried to fit the words in. In order to do this the words got changed quite a bit. Originally I had a whole different chorus but I found it only served to complicate the song.

After I had a song structure and outline together I set up a PZM room mic and recorded myself singing and playing the song into Pro Tools. The next step was to record a “fancy” click track so I could hire one of my drummer friends to come in and lay down some drums. Choosing the proper tempo before you get started is very important. Actually, in a way there is nothing more important!

After the tempo was decided on I laid down the basic chords on electric guitar and a scratch vocal and mixed those in with a click, everything panned to center. When performing live, sequences are generally panned to one ear and the click to the other so that the music channel can be routed to the front end without the click and the click can be routed to the drummer so he can sync the band to the sequence. The click in a studio situation where there is no band performing live is different. I put the music and the click together and panned everything to center. Sometimes I record bass in the fancy click but most times I don’t. I would rather play bass to the drummer than have the drummer play drums to the bass. I have no problem with the drummer playing to the vocal. I like to do 4 hour drum sessions and try to accomplish 3 songs and get 3 or 4 takes of each song. On this day we recorded drums for the songs Freak Magnet and Amazing as well as for My Friend Jerome.

In the case of My Friend Jerome I emailed a drummer friend of mine, Sean Reynolds, the click tracks a couple days ahead of the session date and he came in and played each song 3 or 4 times. We did one or two takes of basic grooves and one or two takes with many fills and spontaneity. I could always edit takes together later. For the session I brought my Pro Tools rig to an old church that my friend David Jones turned into a recording studio and we recorded drums in the big room, a beautiful sounding chapel in West Vancouver that has since been demolished. Unfortunately when I got the tracks home the ride cymbal track wasn’t there. It turns out we had a bum mic and didn’t notice it at the time so I flew in some ride samples from a Mick Fleetwood drum loops collection. When mixing drums I always use Drumagog, or as some call it Drumagod!

There are probably 16 tracks of guitars in My Friend Jerome. I generally mix amp sounds with plug-in sounds. I’ll run the guitar through a DI and then run one line to the amp and the other direct to Pro Tools. This way I can use my natural sound I use when performing live plus a DI line for…whatever. My favorite guitar plug-in is IK Multimedia’s Amplitube which to me is the most natural sounding of the many plugs on the market. For more effected or strange sounds though I prefer Native Instrument’s Guitar Rig. I also really like McDSP Chrome Amp. These are all very high quality guitar plug-ins.

I don’t worry too much about coming up with perfect sounds at the tracking stage although I probably should. It’s just more fun for me to play around with stuff in the box. I also don’t worry too much about performing things perfectly. I’d rather do 3 or 4 takes back to back and then edit stuff around and try different things. Although I accept the fact that audio is very hard work I try to change the process whenever it becomes boring to me.

My vocal chain is a Bluebird microphone through a Focusrite Vocalmaster Pro preamp into Pro Tools. I’ll sing the song 4 times from beginning to end into Pro Tools all on the same track but on different playlists. Playlists are something fairly unique to Pro Tools and is probably the number one reason I have chosen PT to be my main platform. Then I’ll edit together one good vocal track compiled from those takes. If I don’t get a good enough vocal from that I’ll do the same thing again but to a different track. That usually gives me enough material for a lead vocal and a double. If I use a double I almost always run it through a distortion pedal or something and set it back in the mix with a bit of the long reverb. All my sessions usually run 2 reverbs, a short verb about 500ms and a long verb about 1.5 seconds. Ideally I’d like to use 3 reverbs but it just bogs down the CPU too much. In reality though 2 is fine because ambient information tends to be one of the first things that gets sacrificed when you hit the filterbank of the MP3 encoder. I prefer the Fraunhaufer MP3 encoder. I use Adobe Audition to encode but there is a whole trick to making a good quality MP3. If you have loud mastered material it is not advisable to do a straight conversion. Inter-sample peaks and other weird distortions will occur.

If there is a guitar solo I always record it last. My Friend Jerome doesn’t really have a solo but there is a lead in behind a section of the bridge. I do solos similar to the way I do vocals only instead of doing 4 takes I’ll do 10 - 20 improvised takes and edit them together until it feels right. A lot of what I do is just playing around with editing and plug-ins. It’s like problem solving for your psyche. If something doesn’t feel right then do something until it does. In the old days I would compose solos but now I enjoy the discovery of editing improvised takes together.

At some point the song starts sounding like a song and then it’s a matter of listening. I admit I way over-indulge in listening. That’s the most pleasure I have as a human. I’ll listen 100 times in a row without touching a knob just thinking about the possibilities of the song and the production. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of listening at very loud volumes. It’s just my way of becoming emotionally involved with the music. It will almost surely mean an early retirement though. At some point in the mix I’ll get my friend Robert Graves in to tweak things for a couple hours. As far as I’m concerned Rob is the best live sound mixer in Vancouver and his perspective on a mix is invaluable to me. Beyond that I tend to be an obsessive tweak monkey, especially when it comes to vocals.

I generally don’t do my own mastering because I don’t have an ideal listening environment or any fancy compressors like the Manley Vari-mu or a Crane Song. These units are still far superior to any of the software compressor/limiters in the plug-in world. This is mostly due to CPU restrictions. I usually get 2 or 3 versions of a master and often edit them together. I find that mastering compression acts on different parts of a song in different ways. The guy I use for mastering is Jeff Gudenrath at www.audiointegrity.com in Austin,Texas. I like him because he is a musician and he respects the mix. He doesn’t try to force a square peg into a round hole. When I was looking for a mastering engineer I sent out samples to about 30 guys and had them master the samples so I could choose who to go with. Honestly, he was the only guy that actually sent stuff back to me that sounded better than the original without changing the nature of the mix. Beware of bad mastering especially in these days of the loudness war. It’s not how loud you make it but how you make it loud. Anyway, that’s how I generally record a song but that’s just me. In the end it is most important to develop a process that you enjoy participating in.

“That’s because you don’t know the secret yet,” he stated as a matter of fact.

“What secret?”

“It’s more terrible than anything you can possibly imagine,” he replied.

He was the roommate of my drug dealer. The following minutes would change my life.

“Kurt Cobain, Bob Dylan and John Lennon. They all knew the secret,” he continued with a manic glare. “Once you know it you can never go back. It will always be with you.”

That was three days before my first nervous breakdown. Insanity is not as fun as I thought it would be. Looking back though I should have seen it coming. One weekend in high school my bass player and I ate a hundred-lot of acid. Shortly thereafter, the panic attacks started.

If you define power as “the ability to affect your environment”, then life is power. I didn’t know that then. Power is a means of proving to yourself that you are alive. It is the only way to know for sure.

***

I decided to move into an old church that my friend Sidney had turned into a recording studio. My bed was located immediately below the studio in the church’s basement. The ceiling was less than five feet high, which meant I had to crouch as I moved. There were no windows and my only light was from candles. I paid special attention to a steel pipe hanging next to my bed. I had already banged my head against it and almost knocked myself out.

In the evening Sidney and I drank wine on the outside deck and talked about the secret. I was surprised to find out that he too had been aware of it. At five in the morning I went downstairs and flopped onto my bed. No sooner though had I drifted into a peaceful, wine induced sleep than I was jolted from my comfort by thunderous rumbling and blood-curdling screams. The low ceiling above me began to shake and angry voices swore violently in distorted tones.

Upon concluding that the odds were somewhat in favor of the above commotion being real, I took a hockey stick from the corner and moved cautiously towards the bottom of the stairs. When I looked up I saw Sidney and his old cat, Betsy, on their way down to see me. “I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you something,” Sidney apologized. “I rented out the studio to a primal scream class this morning.”

***

After a couple weeks I became hardened to my strange environment. I spent time writing songs with my new friend, a bat who I spotted banging around against the thin metal of the air ducts above. I decided that as long as he minded his own business I would do the same. Besides, I didn’t really know how to go about getting rid of a bat. A couple days later though I saw another rodent, a large rat, digging in a bag of garbage next to the door. The bat was one thing because we had an understanding. There was mutual respect. But with a rat things are different so I contemplated my next move.

I walked upstairs and found Betsy on the counter eating kitty treats. I took her lovingly in my arms, carried her downstairs and laid her softly on the concrete floor. At first Betsy was not aware of anything unusual but soon she sensed something was up. The aging feline moved methodically towards the garbage where the rat was no longer visible. Undaunted, she valiantly continued forth on her sneaky hunt. Upon first seeing her prey she backed up and assumed a ready, crouching position. She then pounced viciously at her first clean opportunity. With her teeth, she grabbed the rodent by its tail and began to smash her squealing foe repeatedly against the cement wall until its blood splattered outward staining the surrounding concrete. After teasing and playing with her victim Betsy dragged the conquered corpse towards me and dropped it at my feet. She looked up and proudly awaited my approval. At that point I was unsure of what to do. I never had to dump the body of a rat before. So I took a shovel, scooped up the corpse and discarded it into the garbage. “Now,” I wondered. “How do I go about cleaning up all this blood?”

I still remember the days that I had with you
Sometimes they don’t seem quite the same
Yappity yap boom bam you’re always in a bad mood
You keep on talking cuz your point is always right

All that you say
All that you do
All that I hear are reflections from you
Your mouth is always open
You nag and never stop
Bitch you’re always whining
You nag and you never stop

The way you spaz you’re gonna have a nervous breakdown
Keep on talking you’re gonna lose your voice
Mama told me I should have stayed away from hell
Mama said I should become a priest

Now that I’ve become a millionaire
You want my money and all of my jewels
You keep on talking about the true real thing
Sorry baby I just don’t care

This girl’s in love with the property I own
My tuxedo, my rolex and all
She’s got her own grant I gave her you know
She’s satisfied with whatever i’ve sold

Girl’s in love with my money
Girl’s in love with my car
Girl’s in love with my jewelry
Girl’s in love with it all

She wears those solid stockings garters and all
Se looks so rich cuz I’ve given it all
She likes to tease please me all night
A sip of wine she do me right

She takes a dive in the deep end pool
She looks so fine when she’s all wet
She likes to tease please me all night
A sip of wine she do me right

He walked to the river to be alone and shoot Jack. He felt a profound sense of sadness as he watched the river flow from his right to his left. It seemed unnatural. Sometimes nature can be so boring.

His life moved violently back and forth between sobriety and getting more fucking wasted than you than you can possibly imagine. Back and forth between extreme pride and well-being and just wanting to stop. It used to be that the rewards out-weighed the bullshit but now, not so much. The circle of his life was getting smaller and he was beginning to allow his enthusiasm to be drowned by those who should rightfully be considered his enemies.

He was also beginning to realize he would not accomplish what he set out to accomplish. What ever made him think he was special? Now he just wanted to settle down and find himself a nice little slut to marry.

For those rare musicians infected with a desire to create true original music an understanding of the relationship between a composer and his work is beneficial. At the core of this relationship is the fact that music reflects a musician’s values. What are values and how are they expressed in music?

A value is anything that is important to someone. It might be a glass of water on a hot day, the trust of a friend, or a state of mind like peace, love, or freedom. It might also be crack-cocaine or a new bass guitar. A value can be defined as “that which one acts to gain or keep” and therefore it is the object of an action. ‘Something’ is of value to ’someone’ and that ’someone’ has to act in a certain way in order to acquire, achieve, or maintain that ’something’.

How then does music express a musician’s values? Before a composer begins creating a work he often has a general idea of the type of the work he wishes to create. He might know, for example, if he wishes to conform to a certain format, or not. Does he choose to create upbeat pop or more dramatic styles of music? One way to gain insight into a composer’s values is to determine his motives for creating a particular type of work. If a composer decides to create a piece of music because it happens to be in fashion at the time and by creating it he will increase his chances of becoming rich and popular and having sex with many beautiful women then, in such cases, the values moving him to action are money, public adoration, and sex. If on the other hand a composer chooses to create a work because it reflects a general mood or overall sense he feels inside then the work might be considered to be an expression of an emotional, or spiritual, value. Oftentimes, a composer’s highest value is the cathartic nature of the creative process.

In order to create a particular type of work a composer must make those choices during the selection process that best allow him to realize that type of creation. It should be noted that goals and values are closely related and that goals are properly based on values. Some musicians value simplicity and some, technical virtuosity. The process of musical selection, of choosing which elements are important enough to include in the music, and which are not, is based on those values a musician holds both inside and outside of music. What types of scales and chords will he need to use in order to support the mood he wishes to express? What kind of groove is required for an accurate expression? Will the nature of the expression be dramatic, or subtle? By answering these types of questions further insight is gained into a musician’s values.

In some music, particularly pop music, there are different layers to these expressions. Pop music is an art form where collaboration is the norm rather than the exception. In other words, there is often more than one person involved in the music creation process. A composer might write only music while a lyricist writes words. A group of musicians may then perform selected songs with the guidance of a producer who provides direction based on an overall concept derived from the individual songs, the performances, and the expectations of the marketplace. At each stage specialists in their field are making value judgments. This brings us to the concepts of synergy and compromise.

The concepts of synergy and compromise are opposites when considering collaborations. If collaborators on a project have similar music values and each participating party has similar end goals then the resulting work is often a product of synergy. In such cases the parties choose to create a relationship whereby decisions are made according to an end concept mutually agreed upon by the collaborators. The resulting work created by this type of synergy may be more fully realized than it would be otherwise. Contrarily, if music values are not similar between collaborators and an end concept is not agreed upon at some point during the creative process the resulting work often deteriorates into a product of compromise and inferiority.

Understanding how the process of music creation and values are related can give those musicians who dare to be different the confidence to stand alone in the face of great opposition. By being aware of values and how they are being expressed in music an artist can be psychologically armed to protect himself from those who do not share his ideals and in fact, may resent them. He will be able to see how other’s criticisms arise directly from a comparison to a set of values which may have been compromised, or sold out, in favor of other values. It takes epic effort to create something truly unique and original. At every turn there are those who argue that it is impossible to create something new and that it is a waste of time to even try. These naysayers ask questions like, “How dare you try to be original?” and “What makes you so special?” Because of this, extreme confidence is a key ingredient for those musicians who crave to be original. This special breed of musician must have a deep-rooted belief that his work is strong and valid even in the absence of something obvious to compare it to. Non-conformity is not recommended for most but for some, it is the highest power. There is no right or wrong way to create music; the art simply reveals the artist.

Big Radio performs Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell Live at Death Race 2006 in Grande Cache , Alberta. This performance features Ted Moore on vocals, Robert Graves on guitar, Eddy Bugnut on bass, and Doug Grant on drums.

Big Radio - Rebel Yell